Does it have you?

One of my mentors would often ask “do you have the story, or does the story have you?” I think this adage applies to much of our emotional experiences as well. A few examples: Do you have anger, or does anger have you? Do you have sadness, or does sadness have you? Do you have jealousy, or does jealousy have you?

The adage goes beyond emotions. It also applies to things and our actions. Maybe it’s money? Alcohol? Junk food?

Of course, it’s not always bad to give ourselves completely over to something. Maybe it’s a marriage, a craft, or a spiritual framework. There is a time to let go and become fully immersed in something.

Having said that, let’s go back to the idea of the “story.” We all have one. Our experiences, from a young age, shape how we see the world. But our understanding of what truly happened in our past is often fickle. We often create stories to make sense of the world. Stories frequently connect us. They are a big part of the human experience. We must be aware of when a story has us and is holding us back from what we want in the future. A story is simply a story. It’s up to us to write the next chapter.