Sabbatical

I have been working in private practice for 12 years. Every year, I take great pride in my work ethic, effort, and overall hustle. I genuinely am grateful for the work that I get to do; I get fulfillment, receive compensation, am challenged by my job, and have the autonomy to pick and choose when I do it. And yet, for the first time in my 12-year coaching career, I decided to take a, wait for it…. (deep gasp) … break.

This past summer, I decided not to see individual clients. The initiative was sparked by one of my clients who commented on my unique ability and position to do so. It was a change-up to what I have always done. I work, and I work hard. I love to work! And yet, as I traveled, played with my kids, drank too much wine, and spent quality time with my family and friends, I realized that my work is terrific, but it isn’t all of who I am. I realized that I have always gotten pride out of telling people that I “love” my work, and yet there’s a simultaneous realization that my love should be saved for the relationships in my life instead of what I do every day. Do I enjoy my work? Sure. Do I get fulfillment out of it? Hell yea. Am I passionate about continuing to serve others? You betcha. But do I love my work? Eh. I’m not so sure my work needs to be a love affair.

So, back to my mini two-month sabbatical. Did I enjoy having the sand in between my toes as I drank a High Noon? Sure. Wait a second, that’s my second reference to alcohol, so maybe there’s an unhealthy theme here. And that may be the point. I liked the sabbatical just like I like my job. I realized I needed both. I need to sprint, do hard things, push, create, innovate, and feel tension, AND I need to take some time to rest. I don’t want to work all the time and I don’t want to be on sabbatical all the time.

That’s the rub for me. Too much of anything is a bad thing, and nothing of something is often a bad thing as well. The sabbatical taught me that I have my job and my job doesn’t have me. And yet, I was damn excited to get back after it this past fall. Perhaps, if we are fortunate enough to have the freedom to do so, which I realize many don’t, we need to find fulfillment in our work AND create space to rest when it’s appropriate to do so. That’s an intersection I plan on stepping into more often.