Grace

Grace. It’s a beautiful word. It can be simply defined with two words: courteous goodwill. I’ve found grace to be liberating. When extended, it can show light in darkness and hope in times of suffering. Yet, it’s not something that often comes naturally to me. It’s often a secondary thought or feeling. I have to work at showing courteous goodwill. I bet you do too. Here’s why we need to increase our grace.

Grace often isn't our initial reaction when we feel wronged. It’s not a survival instinct; that’s why it’s not needed ALL the time. But in 2022, in the world we live in today, I believe it’s essential. With grace, we reduce our desire for revenge and spite which often leads to behavior unbecoming of who we aspire to be. When we extend grace, we open ourselves up to more meaningful relationships and widen our scope to the humanity of our existence.

We are all imperfect. Surely observing ourselves in our worst moments would not illicit internal pride. Others are no different. It’s why grace is needed not just for others, but also for ourselves. When we extend courteous goodwill, we allow ourselves to grow from mistakes, reduce the harsh inner critic who can at times hold us back from taking a plunge, and ultimately, hopefully, live a more joyous and fulfilling life. I know it sounds grand, but I do believe all of that to be true. Drinking the Kool-Aid? Great. Here’s how we can build it.

Just because our initial thought or feeling isn’t of grace doesn't mean it can't be our response. Want to take a baseball bat to the car of that person who cut you off? I’ve been there too. But how many of us actually take that action? Hopefully you don’t. Hopefully I don’t in the future. It’s in those moments that we can extend grace with our secondary thinking. For example, maybe they are heading to the hospital, or a job interview, or are rushing to pick their kid up from soccer? We are capable of thinking that way. It just takes work. And grace. How about yourself? The next time you screw up, and it will probably be sometime today, perhaps you can look yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey, I’ll learn from that mistake and I am just doing the best I can.”

I want to be clear; grace isn’t a panacea. There’s a time to fight. There’s a time to stand up for what we believe in and speak our minds. There’s a time to cut off toxic relationships. I don’t think grace is some magic pill that will make our lives automatically better. But I do believe we could all use a dose more of it. Even if it’s just a sprinkle or a touch. I know I do.