Gratitude and Complacency
It’s hard to be grateful and stressed at the same time.
When reflecting about gratitude, I often think of my Aunt Wendy. Every year Aunt Wendy opens up her house to about 50 family and friends for Thanksgiving. The food is incredible: fried turkey, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese… you know the drill. Toddlers, kids, and teenagers run through the house as if it’s the local community center. Amidst all the chaos, Aunt Wendy is always as calm as a cucumber. After everyone has eaten, she gathers everyone to share how grateful she is to host and how lucky we all are. It always resonates.
A few years ago, it hit me that Aunt Wendy is never stressed while hosting. As someone who loves to host, I aspired to have her approach when hosting. That’s when I became extremely interested in gratitude and its impact. It didn’t take much research to discover that gratitude can have a massive impact on wellness. Research has found that grateful people:
o Exercise more often and are more likely to attend regular check-ups with their doctors, which is likely to contribute to further longevity
o Have more empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge.
o Sleep better
o Have increased athlete’s self-esteem
o Have lower rates of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
It’s easy to see why gratitude can be a game-changer. Yet, I often hear that people don’t lean into it because they are concerned they will become complacent, which can stop progress. That complacency can lead to feeling stuck, and feeling stuck often sucks. I’ve found that gratitude often moves us away from complacency. It’s a misnomer to think that when we are grateful we will become complacent. I’ve found the exact opposite: When we are grateful, we are more desirous of being fulfilled. Contentment and complacency are more antonyms than synonyms. When we are content, we are typically grateful. When we are grateful, we want to take more action, whereas complacency leads us to inaction. And here’s the good news: there are many ways to cultivate gratitude. Here are three of my favorites:
Write a thank-you letter
I often have clients write a letter to someone who has had an impact on their life. After writing the letter, I have them pick up the phone and call the person. It’s amazing to see the impact the phone call has on the person receiving AND delivering the message.
Use it in language
The Blue Angels are one of the most cohesive and impressive teams in the world. They have a mantra they use any time they debrief a show which is simply: “Glad to be here.” The mantra is a reminder that no matter how hard their job gets they should always be grateful to be part of the “Blues.”
Prime the gratitude
Bake gratitude into your morning routine. Simply think of one thing you are grateful for when you wake up.
For many, the past year and a half has been stressful. Here’s the bad news: stress isn’t going away. Bad things happen. It’s part of life. Yet, we can better handle the tough times if we lean into gratitude. Potentially, even more important is that the good times will seem that much brighter if you take a moment to appreciate them. Just like my Aunt Wendy.
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