Thoughts and Feelings

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the sad truth is we don’t control our thoughts or feelings. They can show up at the least opportune time and cause us to scratch our head. But, with that being said, here’s the good news: while we don’t control the input, we can interpret the thoughts and feelings to control our output (actions and behavior) however we please.

We have primary thoughts/feelings and secondary thoughts/feelings. While certainly we can impact our primary thoughts/feelings with routines, priming, and by choosing certain environments, we are all susceptible to having non-ideal inputs. So, how can we improve those secondary thoughts and feelings that drive so much of our behavior? Here are three ways to get you started:

Empower useful self-talk
We can talk to ourselves just as much as we listen to ourselves. There are times when our listening mind overwhelms us with doubt and questioning. Especially when you are performing, it’s important to know what to say to yourself to help you focus on the right thing at the right time. Listening is a great skill; it’s fundamental to great communication. But when it comes time to execute, we often need to replace the listening with talking.

Work from the inside-out
When we rely on our environment or external factors to perform, we are at their mercy. It is of the utmost importance to develop your own capacity to work from the inside-out. That may look like cultivating a routine or habit that can over-ride a negative or non-ideal thought. Or, it may be having a breath built into your performance so that it’s there for your during good times and bad. When we establish inside-out protocols, we are able to show up with more consistency.

Accept thoughts and feelings
I have crazy thoughts. I really do. So do you. We all do. Once you realize that your thoughts and feelings don’t actually dictate your actions, they become less valuable. Try this: Close your eyes for a minute. Simply let thoughts come and go. Almost as if you are on top of a skyscraper and watching cars come and go. Learn to smile at your thoughts. Wink at them. Create an understanding that you are not your thoughts or your feelings, but they are simply part of your human existence. From there, take the desired action.

In closing, we all need to have a relationship with our thoughts and feelings. Sometimes they will be in service to you and your needs, and other times they will not. When we disempower them and step into the thinking and being that we desire, we show up more fully for those we are around, and probably more importantly, we show up more fully for ourselves.

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