Curiosity and Coachability
The most coachable people are often the most curious. You read that right. People who are willing to question why things are done the way they are, open themselves up to learn more than those who simply say, “yes sir” or “yes ma’am”. Stay with me here. Think of the basketball player who puts their arm around their coach to gain clarity by asking where they want them to be during a practice. Or think of the employee who asks a question during a meeting which sparks innovation and creativity to go in a different direction. Heck, even one of the values for the Army is personal courage, in which they state, “You can build your personal courage by daily standing up for and acting upon the things that you know are honorable.” Courage requires curiosity.
Yet, leaders often ask their followers to do their job and not question authority. While this can be helpful at times in some sectors (like the military), and that way of thinking can be useful when it’s time to execute, it’s hard for people to trust what they need to do and how they need to do it if the explanation hasn’t first gone through exhaustive curiosity. Generally, we do a poor job of aligning coachability with curiosity. Why is that? I have a few ideas.
1. Curiosity takes time. It’s harder and often slows down process. Many of us move in a fast-paced ecosystem and need to make decisions quickly. Yet, would you rather move a little slower with curiosity, or move fast with mindlessness? I’ll let you decide.
2. We love to be right. You, me, and most other people have a strong desire to feel valuable. When we become leaders and decision makers, we often naively believe that we are supposed to have all the answers. Yet, the best teams have curiously coachable people who help a leader to make decisions. Just like people have to be coachable, leaders have to know how to coach for curiosity. Yet, leaders often stifle it.
3. Fear. When someone is curiously coachable, they are making themselves vulnerable. Vulnerability requires safety and trust. We are taught from a young age to obey authority (which isn’t always bad). While fear can cause us to look both ways before we cross the street, wear a mask during a pandemic, or take an uber to a bar, it also can hold us back from the capacity to question authority. We often don’t want to rock the boat. So instead, we play it safe, listen to orders, and let the leader take the fall when their idea fails. What would it look like to collaborate and take ownership over a decision-making process with coachable curiosity? How much better would the process be?
There is absolutely a time to stay in our lane, do our job, and trust that our leaders know best. Yet, there are so many instances where a great follower needs to question a great leader. For leaders out there, how can you cultivate a team and culture of curiously coachable people? For those who are being led, how can you step into curiosity to make you even more coachable? Don’t take my word for it, feel free to question away.