Empathy

Forbes called it “invaluable.” Apple has a manual of exercises to develop it amongst their employees. Jeff Bezos has made it clear that those who lack it are not welcome to work at Amazon. What is “it?” “It” is empathy.

I worked in sales for my first 3 years upon graduation from college. The experience was invaluable. One of the lasting lessons came when I talked back to a client. The client was high maintenance and I was becoming frustrated. My boss overheard the way that I spoke to the client and called me into his office. He said to me, “Brian, you have to treat others the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated.” It was my first introduction to the power of empathy, and I’ve been extremely curious about it since.

Empathy is understanding what someone else is feeling or imagining their emotional experience. Many get empathy confused with sympathy, but there’s a clear distinction between the two; sympathy requires a common experience and have a shared feeling, whereas empathy is based more on understanding.

Bezos, Apple, and I all know why empathy matters, and research agrees with us too. Research has shown that empathy amongst managers is positively related to job performance. Additionally, a Harvard unpublished survey of graduates over the past 10 years who now occupy professional positions found that empathy is most lacking among middle managers and senior executives, the very people who need it most because their actions affect such large numbers of people. So, what should we do if we want to step into empathy?

Close your eyes. Imagine a world where everyone prioritized empathy. What would that world sound like? Look like? How would empathy impact your day-to-day experience. Thinking about empathy is important but even more important is that you show it. Having empathy is one thing, displaying empathy is even more powerful. So, here’s my challenge to you:

Take today to emphasize empathy. Pour it into everyone you interact with. You partner, teacher, roommate, co-worker, a complete stranger. Let’s make the world 1% more empathetic today. It starts with you. Everyone you interact with will be grateful you did.