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Don't rob others of the opportunity to help you.
 
Many of us pride ourselves on our independence. We don’t need help. We are self-sufficient. We are the ones who love to help others. We love to give.

I understand why people don't love titles (i.e., VP, Captain, C-Suite, etc.).

As we think about the year ahead, it’s important to start from the inside-out. Surely there will be external factors that change our course. Adversity will hit. Yet, as we sit here in January, I’d like to pose a simple question: Are you operating as a fountain or a drain?

Change is like noise; if we are constantly changing, we grow with little fuss.

As we roar toward the end of the year, I am thinking about how people navigate operating with a full plate. Do we take stuff off our plate?

We all have a vice. Mine are French fries. I found myself gobbling down my son's cold, soggy, and bland French fries at a football game recently. Were they the greatest French fries ever? Certainly not.

Just because something is obvious doesn’t mean we don’t need a reminder. Too often we assume that people don’t need to hear things that appear obvious to us. But what’s obvious to us might be a blind spot for others. Obviousness is a learning opportunity to teach to the ignorant.

If you have ever had the good fortune of being in the cockpit as a pilot prepares for takeoff, you’ll notice they have a “before takeoff checklist” prominently posted. It involves checking every aspect of the plane to make sure it can run properly.

“Inside a community, everything can be handled.” I recently heard this quote and it really stuck with me. I am a deep believer in the power of community.

As Tony Robbins once said, “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of your relationships.” Okay, great. But how do we ensure our relationships are adding value to our lives instead of detracting value? What can we do to enhance our relationships?

Transformational leadership focuses on developing the whole person, while transactional leadership focuses more on helping someone do their job better.

I have been working in private practice for 12 years. Every year, I take great pride in my work ethic, effort, and overall hustle. I genuinely am grateful for the work that I get to do; I get fulfillment, receive compensation, am challenged by my job, and have the autonomy to pick and choose when I do it. And yet, for the first time in my 12-year coaching career, I decided to take a, wait for it…. (deep gasp) … break.

I was born deaf in my left ear. I am not sure exactly how it happened, but my entire life I have had to adjust where I sit, walk, and how I approach people with my left ear in mind. Early in my life, I adjusted instinctively, but as I grew older I remember making intentional decisions to put myself in positions to minimize the impact the deafness would have on my conversations with people.

I am a devoted follower of the Finding Mastery podcast by Michael Gervais. His work served as the catalyst for launching my own podcast seven years ago. He frequently presents the following question to his podcast guests, a query that consistently occupies my thoughts.

“Where does pressure come from?”

I am fortunate to be the son of an entrepreneur and work with many others who are building ideas into companies. The mindset of an entrepreneur fascinates me; it’s complex and paradoxical. For many, their inner dialogue sounds something like this:
 
“I believe I can do this.” And… “I believe this will all go away tomorrow.”

Five years ago, I had a conversation with a head coach of a professional sports team. I asked him if he would rather be a team with a target on their back because they were a top dog or the team who was David and was trying to slay the goliath.

One of the greatest gifts we can give people is our attention, and elite attention often requires great curiosity. When we leverage judgment instead of curiosity, it’s easy for us to come off as condescending and preachy, whereas curiosity depletes condescending communication.

Compete. It’s a strong word. Some love it. Others are squeamish about it. When I’ve worked with high-level sports teams, they almost all have valued competitive spirit as foundational to their team’s success. Yet, I have found that competitiveness is often misunderstood.

Life is about transitions. Graduation. First job. Marriage. But no transition has been as game-changing for me as becoming a parent. The transition is ripe with challenges and is loaded with life lessons that can unlock our wisdom.

Many of us are guilty of “if-then” thinking: the trap that keeps us in a hamster wheel of future behavior. Here are a few examples:
 

Work to live or live to work?

I've come to reject this binary.

I want to work to live AND live to work. I want both.

The more I work with leaders in organizations, the more I am convinced of the power of culture. Yet, most people are fuzzy about what culture actually means. As a result, it can become a meaningless buzzword. Here’s how I have come to understand it.

For me, there is a distinction between motivation and inspiration. I have a good sense of what motivates me and try to consistently refresh my motivating factors for success.

Something I wish I knew when I was younger... When someone's going through something difficult, saying nothing (out of fear of saying the wrong thing), is typically worse than saying the "wrong" thing.

I posed this question to myself recently. If I could only pick one of these, which one would I want on my tombstone?

World-Class Writer

World-Class Coach

World-Class Speaker

World-Class Podcaster

World-Class Dad

If a team member is not a positive influence on the team, how valuable can they be for the team? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. We often prioritize talent over leadership qualities.

Sport Psychology education, sales training, and executive coaching taught me to avoid closed-ended questions as if they were the plague. I was told they lead people to give one-word answers. And yet, I am starting to believe that the best questions on my podcast and in my 1-on-1 coaching sessions are often closed-ended.